“I remember the girl but I don’t remember the feeling anymore.”
This is a line from one of the revival songs of Christian Bautista that caught my attention while I am browsing the internet looking of a perfect song that would describe my feeling for the present moment.
I can still remember whenever I entered the room I was nervous because she was there and I can’t deliver well my lessons for I was conscious of what I might look while I’m in the class knowing that she knows I have something for her and only the both of us knew that secret. Well, there is another one but she belongs to the other room.
She knew long before because I let her through a letter. I can’t say it verbally and face to face so I just expressed it through a letter. Once or twice? I don’t how many times but usually my way is to give something, a food, a gift, or a token, anything that might express my feeling.
But for now, I know that I have left it all because it’s not the same anymore. I see her everyday and I talk with her giving her tasks which sometimes I withdraw to give thinking that it will be way of forgetting her. Without hesitation, I can now act naturally whenever she’s around.
I will be remembering her even if she’s gone and if she comes back I will still but the difference is the feeling won’t be there anymore. The feeling will be remembered no more.
dark nights of the soul 