You don’t know how to begin because you don’t know when and how it ended.
Shall you start everything anew or will you wait for the ending first. Sometimes, You don’t know either what to do. And It’s that late moment of your life that you realize that things should have been ended clearly not that everything just turned into dust and you don’t know what’s left in your hand. How do you begin if you don’t know if it has ended already?
You know you are to blame but you don’t want to turn everything to dust alone. You don’t know if the feeling is still hoping but it just want a proper ending so that a blameless beginning will arise. You can’t moved on thinking that you had left someone behind because of your selfishness. You want to explain not because you’re expecting her to come back if you do. You want to clear things properly and If ever, you end relationship into friendship. Sometimes, you just need to be true to yourself so that you may say all that you want. Perhaps, she doesn’t like to know your reasons anymore but part of letting go is to formally close any account.
It’s hard to move on when you didn’t close the curtain of the past properly and a slip of it is still hanging to be viewed. You don’t know if there is still something between you. And this something that is not clear is blinding to the possibility of loving again.
Ending is as necessary as beginning. You can’t be selfish. You can’t let the other one hanging while you have decided to live your life and open your hearts again. Leaving without a goodbye can painful.
Even though you separate for a reason that you can’t understand, that doesn’t mean that one of you has the right to love again. The right to love again is only given when both of you understand the parting. Goodbyes are as essential as hellos. If things are not clear, it is a risk to walk in the midst of foggy road.
If the reason of breaking is falling out of love, if it’s true, then love must love again. if not, then the spark will still remain unless you decide to let it die.
The right time to love is when you know how to decide because love is a decision. A decision not of an immature mind but a heart that knows how to love. Love when you know what it means not when you feel it.