My life is a mess. I don’t even know who I am as if I am searching the “Me, myself and I” for too long. I am loosing the track of my road and I don’t know where I am going now. Wish someone would take my hands and guide me.
I just want to withdraw myself form this world. I want to be alone and just be in silence. I just want a world I can call my own. A world that I can understand and live with. Not this world, that I don’t even know who I am. Not this world that puzzles me whether I am good or bad. Not this world that changes and defines me into something I don’t like.
It’s so confusing. This thing in my head drives me crazy. It makes me want to end everything. it validates my purpose. I don’t know but all I want to understand what is happening around me. Why the world is so cruel? why the world is full of suffering? And I don’t know if these sufferings are really worth conquering. I just want to give up. I want to let go.
I’m on in my down moments…
I just want to stop living…
I just want this life..
I just can’t open myself because there’s nobody there to trust. Nobody is there to love and nobody wants to stay. Everybody is leaving and I can’t understand why I need to be alone for this time. why I am alone? Life has been so cruel to me.
I’ve hungered for knowledge to wisdom yet it gave me nothing. All in vain and useless. I just wish I had never known them all. Am I paying the price of knowledge? I know the what but the how is hidden. Life is so cruel to me. It is better to know nothing and be wondered by the world than to know everything yet helpless in this world.
Let all about me be buried with me.