I don’t pity myself. All I want is to enlighten the I that nobody knows not even me. Sometimes, I am also surprised with the things I discover about myself. I never expect that I am. Maybe there will be a lot more about me to discover and to unravel. Scary it may be but I think It’s wonderful and beautiful to discover a gem inside that others might consider just a stone.
Life has been good to me. I know. I have met wonderful and not so wonderful people along the way. I have left them behind and also I was left behind. In truth, our journey in this world is always an individual journey. You have to do it your own weather you like it or not. There is a secret world in every person you meet. And this world is unknown to us. Even sometimes our own world, it is hidden to us.
Sometimes, It’s just so hard to pretend that everything is ok. I always have this feeling that I am nothing. I feel that people always leave me for a reason that I am nothing for them. I feel that way. As if I am nothing to anybody I meet. I know I have wonderful people around but this feeling is just so strong that sometimes I get the feeling of going away from people. The feeling that I want to isolate myself from all of you. I don’t hate people, what I hate is myself. There is so much about me that I want to enlighten. But I don’t know how.
I am afraid to be attached with anybody. Life has been good to me to meet people but I am afraid to hurt them because I know I am person in hurt. I don’t want to pass these hurts to anybody. I want people to be protected from me. I am hurt like a double edged blade and I don’t like it.
Stay away!
dark nights of the soul 