I was really into it. I was the lowest point of life but then I was able to rise above to see the beautiful world. I thought It was about him. It was about this boy who I thought was making me sad and giving me sickness down to my nerves. But I was wrong. It was not him. He was just a boy. An innocent boy of mine. A boy that I had loved with all my heart. He is Innocent from all that is happening to me. He is not even involved to all of my pains because in reality, he is happiness in my life.
Even though he doesn’t know, He’s turning me into a person who is now able to love without expecting in return. To be happy when others are also happy. To be content of the presence and not asking more. He’s teaching to be who I am. He’s making me realize where I am now in my journey. He’s part of my life. At least to my claim, he occupies a space in my heart. He is becoming a part of me yet he’s telling me also that I can’t own him but to let him free.
I want to tell him that I will be here for him always even though sometimes He feels I am not. I hope in every situation of my life when I want to be alone, he understands and he knows that I never really want to leave him but I am just here waiting for myself to be healed and waiting for the time to go back and be a part of his life again.
I have so many issues in life that need healing and forgiveness. And there are times in my life that when in the healing process I need time to be alone, to be with myself. I don’t really want to leave sometimes but I need to, to protect those people I love. It’s more about me. It’s just me who really has the problem in the process. I don’t want to put blames on anyone. I think I do really have the control on what will really gonna happen in my life.
My young boy. I really love him and I know I don’t have the right to expect him to love me in return. I thank God he came into my life. When time comes that he will no longer want me in his side, I will still be here to love him and wait him to come back. Love is like that, always unconditional, never to expect something in return. You just give all that you have for the person precious in your eyes.
My little young boy emiro. I hope you know that I have always loved you with all my heart. I won’t be spending my time, resources, strength, money, and attention if I have never loved you. You are always be in my heart no matter what. There are so many things that I want to tell you but for now I just want you to be happy in your childhood and boyhood. I want you to smile and be happy and be confident that there are is me always for you. I am excited to see you again in the future. Your happiness will also be mine. I love you so much and I miss you.