December 15, 2014
8:00 PM @NSNU Chapel
First Simbang Gabi (Reflection)
Be a light to others.
Maybe this was the message the priest wanted to tell to everybody. That we needed to carry Christ with us if we wanted to be a light to others. We cannot be a light on our own we need Christ because He is the only true source of light. We need to carry Him with us so that we may be light to other people. With this light, they may see Christ in us.
But while the priest was giving his homily, I was also thinking something else. I was unloading my thoughts to Jesus and I wanted Him to talk to me. I was partially listening to the priest because I really wanted Jesus to give me an answer. I kept the silence in my heart because I knew only then that He will talk to me. Only then in silence that I might hear him.
Jesus really was there. I heard him talking to me and answering my questions. I am asking why? Why I am thinking this, why I feel jealous, why I feel that I needed to go away, why needed to see myself as nothing? And the answer came, because I am not contented of what I have. I am not content of the things and of the life and of the people around me to the things that they can offer to me. Especially to people, I am not content of what they can offer and give to me. As if I want more. I cannot accept that things sometimes just don’t happen way I want it. They don’t just happen the way I want them to.
I think Jesus is telling me that I need to accept things just the way they are. Let it go. Don’t ask for more. Accept whatever each person has to offer to you. If you demand nothing will happen. You will just be hurt. Accept that you can’t have it all. You can’t have all the love that you want. Accept what your beloved has to offer to you. Give them time to grow on their own. Don’t control them neither manipulate them. You can’t be demanding. Let things happen just the way they are. No control.
Don’t belittle yourself just because you feel that you are less loved. Your happiness should not be depended on others. Be happy for them. When you are less loved by people it’s because sometimes we think that we should be one who is to be loved more. It is again asking for something more more than the person can offer. All you can be is person who is understanding. A person who loved at the background. A person who just support in silence and never leave anyone along the way. You will feel sometimes that you will be left behind and not loved. This feelings are real but you are greater than these.
There is nothing you can do if people cannot love you the way you want to be loved. Just stay the way you are. Put smile in your heart and be happy and pray for others. Acceptance is the key. Sometimes, we have heartaches and pains because we cannot accept reality. Never ask for more. Asking for something more will always lead you to the things that will bring sorrows and pains. Accept whatever the person has to offer. I repeat, accept whatever the person has to offer. If it is a less love, receive it with joy, even if no love at all, still receive the person with love. Never demand the person to love you back. Love is never that way. Only then you will gain peace and happiness. Have your peace, my son. You are more than all your sorrows in your life.