No Goodbyes Yet For Me

• I have always wanted to say goodbye but I every time I try I always find myself going back to the things I needed to forget. I think there is no goodbye for me yet. I am a prisoner of my past. I can’t let go of the memories and I can’t turn them into learning because I don’t want to. It’s my choice to be here for a while. I want to give a chance to everything. From the right things that I have done, if there is any, to the mistakes that I don’t want to make right yet.
• These thoughts and memories that I hold in my head are making me lonely. Bringing me down to the deepest shame and guilt that I don’t want to experience. There are times in my life that I don’t trust myself, my abilities and capacities to be able to do things. And even to the point of losing faith to other people. It’s not that I don’t believe in them. It’s just that I don’t want to be part of their lives. I came here for nothing and I will exit for nothing. I don’t want to be involved nor to find meaning and purpose in meeting and working together.
• No more goodbyes! Let everything fades. I guess that is just the way my life is. Let it fade when things time to fade and be erased at its own facet of time.